Uggboots in public

Its unwritten law (should be written I think) that Ugg boots should be worn only inside in the comforts of your home.

Some people are unaware of this law and decide that it's fair game to show the world there Ugg boots.

Ugg boots are a fashion statement in themselves. There main role is to warm the foot in winter time. For that reason alone they were not made to match any other outfit besides pj's. There is no exception - none at all!

Uggboots  are uggly.
Folks keep your Uggboots in your home

Early Morning Trains

I could not think of anything worse than early morning trains.  You get up early, trek it into the train station with a coffee in one hand and your bag in another.  Then the train comes and as the devil glides past you you notice that it is packed like sardines in a can, like monkeys in a cave. If you didn't have costrovobia you would definally develop it on the these trains.  But this morning that i experienced was like no other. My boyfriend had luggage so that prohibited us from attending the seats and so we had to stand up near the doors. Standing on a train should be illegal, or if you stand you should get a discount on your ticket.  Whilst we were standing we were swaying and swaying holding on to each other for dear life.  Every aspect of life has a group. The train even had a train group. It was comprised of 6 individuals who didn't work with each other or even get off at the same stop. They all sat together and discussed each others lives and the boring details of it. One lady whom I presume was the queen bee kept listening to my conversation. (Lady it wasn't very interesting my life is a fun as watching grass grow).   The worse thing about early trains is getting off them and out of the station. Like a herd of sheep the mass of people mount out of the station and you have to keep up or otherwise you get trampled.  Early morning trains are the worst. 

Motorbikes

My boyfriend told me to write a blog about motorbikes so here goes.

A motorbike:

2 wheels

1 seat

An engine.

The end.

Motorbikes are the most boring things ever invented but unfortuatly for me my boyfriend is obsessed with them so I have to find them interesting. He talks about them and all I hear are the words are two stroke, heaps quick, blake bagget, sunny corner.

Sunny corner is a bike track somewhere in NSW. It does not sound very manly to hear that your boyfriend is going to sunny corner to ride his bike.

To me looking at a motorbike is like looking at a wall. Every wall looks the same. It has the same features and the same look about it. According to my boyfriend I couldn’t be more wrong! Every motorbike is different and some are ‘heaps sick’ and some are ‘f***ckin shit’. Just by looking at them they can be so different.

Appartnely bike riders are the most amazing people alive! How hard is it to ride a bike? I can ride a bike, does that make me amazing? And bike riders apparently have the biggest balls from  jumping over jumps. But preety sure half the time their balls are swished on the seat.

 Motorbikes consume my life and all my boyfriends money.

MOTORBIKES GIVE ME BACK MY BOYFRIEND PLEASEEEE !!!!!!

And in conclusion… Motorbikes are a tough man sport (If I didn’t write this I would be hated forever by the motorbike appreciation committee and my boyfriend. Babe you’re the toughest rider out!)

(Dont see a difference between the two bikes besides the colour? Me either. YAWN MOTORBIKES)

DOGS

D: doglike. 4 Legs, a tail and a nose.

O: Outside. 4 out of 5 dogs live outside in the backyard.

G: Growl. Great.

S: small and smelly.

Yes you read correctly, I did just make a poem about dogs. But who could blame me? How cute are dogs? Yes I know. I am going to grow into the crazy dog lady who lives in a dog house with her 10 dogs and lives off bones. I love dogs for many reasons. One being that they do not talk back. Another being that there life is so easy- eat, sleep and run around. I want that life. It seems so easy.

I have 2 dogs in my life. Arthur and Joggers.

Arthur is my childhood dog. The dog that has seen me grow and become the nut case I am today. He is dumb as hell. He cannot get a ball, he cannot sit when told he cannot be taken for a walk by anyone other than my dad. I know cool dog, sick as, woof.

The only good thing about my childhood dog is the fact that when I was forced to eat my dinner and I couldn’t finish it I would feed it to him when my Dad wasn’t watching.

My other dog is Joggers. This is my boyfriends beloved dog. He was adopted from the pound when he was a small pup. If this dog was a human it would be the worlds nicest person. It has manners, it has love in its heart. It sits when told, it sleeps when told. It loves hugs and affection. I know right, worlds most amazing dog. Love love love.

That’s my rant about Dogs. Go and adopt a dog.

Excercise

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA one second HAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHA

Excericse and my body just don’t seem to have a relationship together. We aren’t even friends. We aren’t even aquantances. If I saw exercise in the street I would point and laugh and keep walking.

I know what your thinking. Yes I am unfit. Yes I cant run 20meteres without getting puffed. But really I don’t think I need to work out. I don’t want to be an Olympic runner anytime soon. Im not fat either.

Sweatyness, red faced, disgusting. That’s why I don’t ‘work out’.

Joggers are probaley the most daggiest shoes ever. They just don’t match my skinny white legs. And then you plus the daggy tights and the daggy singlet. And then the sports bra, to hold my knockers in place. The whole exercise outfit does not relate well with me.

Exercise, go and suck one. I never want to be friends with you ever.

ECARDS.

Ecards have single handly decorated the various blog walls and facebook walls.

Ecards are the most original and funny photos I personally have ever seen.

Each one is so original and strikes a laugh out of its audience.

Here are few of my favouirite :

www.someecards.com

Cooking. Yeah. No

Every little girl grew up learning how to cook in hope that one day that they grow up and cook for their family.
I was missed on the cooking tree. My dad was the cooker of the family and unfortunately he never taught me.

This has resulted in me being a lousy cook. Lousy meaning all I can cook is toast and crumpets.
Sandwiches are my strong suit.

That's all I can bring to the table. Sandwiches. That can feed my family for a while can't it?

I recently made a cake for my boyfriend in hope I would at least impress him with the fact that I can make a packet cake. I did not impress. The cake was 'dry'.

I am a bit of a failure to the female population.
Looks like I am marrying a chef then?

Sushi I OVE YOU

Stress relievers- everyone has one. Most people's stress relievers will most likely be either smokes, alcohol, chocolate or tv.

Mines sushi.
I didnt realise this until exam week at Uni. After each stressful day of Uni I would crave sushi like no other.

Eating it seemed to calm me down and I would feel so happy and satisfied after eating my favouirtie food in the whole world.

I then finished Uni and didn't crave it as much and then it dawned on me the importance sushi has on my physiological state of mind.

Sushi. I love you

First World Problem: Guests at my work

One thing I will never grow to understand are guests that stay in the hotel that I work out. What they say and do I will never be able to understand at all.

I don’t understand why its our fault that you want to cancel your booking and that its our fault your losing money because of the exchanges rate. If you tell me that you didn’t read the terms and conditions and the confirmation letter that we send you how is it our fault that we didn’t tell you about the surcharge.

It really isn’t wize to be a dickhead to us upon check in. This is our hotel and you want to stay with us. Refusing to pay for a certain charge is probabley right for you to do but really isn’t wize. Althought I am short, skinny and blonde and your tall old and angry I can tell you to turn your ass around and get out of the hotel.

And the minibar- my favourite part. You think you are funny when you lie and say ‘no I didn’t consume anything from the minibar’. Jokes on you. We find that you did and I get as much (and probeley even more) satisfaction  when I charge your ass. Liars cant get past me. I am ruthless and I am the mini bar police.

My job isn’t worth working without an angry guests or 4 showing their mean side.

Chapter 1: HELLO

My name is Amy Lewis. My middle name is rea like diarohhea and i cant spell.
I am 19 and live in NSW.
I have two hospitality jobs and thats great fun juggling these two jobs.
The word obsession really does not describe my love for sushi.
I am obsessed with quotes.
I am a bit different and a way too bit weird.
So enjoy reading this blog... it will be updated regularly.

Follow me on instagram- theofficalamylewis